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Windswept – Green Skies and Ham?

By Eric Pinder

Did Dr. Suess ever write about the summit of Mount Washington? No, but he should have. The following epic describes the monthly weather summary: a full day of number-crunching, fact-checking, and paperwork compiled by the observatory crew at the end of each month. The results are then photocopied, microfilmed, and mailed to the National Climatic Data Center (NCDC), the University of New Hampshire, and other users. Sometimes the task of completing the summary is quite an adventure. Through a fluke in scheduling, however, Eric Pinder managed to avoid the bulk of this extra work for almost two years. That came to an end on May 1st, when Eric realized he would be filling in for Sarah Curtis on the same day that the summary needed to checked, photographed, and mailed. The result: a logbook entry that turned into a parody of Dr. Suess' children's classic, "Green Eggs and Ham."

The saga begins...

"Hi! I'm Sam. Sam-that's-me.
You have to do the summary!"

I do not like the summary.
I do not like it, Sam-that's-me.

I will not do it in the rain.
I really think it is a pain.

I think our snowfall's really great,
but I won't add up column 8.

I will not hang charts on the wall,
I will not do it in the hall.

"You must! You must!" said Sam-that's-me.
"You have to heed the SOP!"

"You have to now that Sarah's left,
It really is a fair request."

I will not add the sunshine hours;
I will not measure heavy showers.

Precip has intensity,
but I will not code it, Sam-that's-me!

I will not do it on my shift.
I will not do it for a gift.

Not in truck or van or 'Cat.
I will not do it; that is that!

"Will you for a raise in pay?"
I will not do it night or day.

"How about if I feed Nin?"
I will not do it--out or in.

Not in snow or sleet or fog.
Not for any cat or dog.

I just don't like the summary--
really, really, Sam-that's-me!

(I stomped outside the tower door,
and went to do some other chore.)

(Coming in, I tripped and fell.
And looking back, it's just as well.)

Sam-that's-me, I think I see!
It's almost an epiphany!

The forecasts, they would be a fright
if no one's numbers came out right.

Who will find the month's peak gust?
If no one else...I guess I must!

All the numbers I will check,
although it sometimes pains my neck.

I'll check them all most carefully.
Really, really, Sam-that's-me!

And then I'll put it in the mail.
To NCDC, without fail.

I'll fill out the Excel spreadsheet
and make sure it's correct and neat.

I'll add the columns one by one --
it's sort of almost kind of fun.

Sam now saw my mood had changed,
and shouted out, "You are deranged!"

"The summary -- none claim it's fun.
It's just a task that MUST BE DONE!"

 

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